I've been feeling tired. I mean really tired. Ass-dragging, don't-wanna-get-out-of-bed tired. This from someone who has proven again and again she can give 'er when there's very little gas in the tank. You don't get contest ready otherwise.
For me, it was when I experienced some down time that the physical symptoms really started to manifest. And it's taken me about a year to figure out how to appropriately feel the emotions associated with the life-stuff going on. I'm getting a lot of this emotional work done right now, but it's through opening myself up to the process and through coaching. I have the keys, but unlocking the answers is not an overnight thing. I don't think the average GP is really equipped to help with this sort of physical stuff. It's labelled "stress" and you're often given a prescription to alleviate symptoms. Not good. But if you're focusing on the symptoms, you're looking in the wrong place for the answers. They might be right in front of you; you just may not be ready or don't want to see them. Yet.
So my eyes are open now, and I feel a tremendous weight has been lifted. Does this mean everything is sunshine and roses? No, but it means I'm not stuffing my feelings around the issues anymore. What I'm experiencing must be felt in order to be released. If I bottle it up, one or more things happen: I become irritable; I eat to numb myself; I get sick; I feel so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open. And no drug is ever going to relieve these symptoms.
Now it's up to me to keep an eye on myself. And when these symptoms come up again, if they do, I need to stop. Look inside. Figure out what it is I'm ignoring. Feel it. Let it go. Then it won't hurt me anymore.
