I've decided I don't like rants. Recently I've begun to feel assaulted by rants. I realize there's no deliberate intent on the part of people delivering rants to wound me, but the negativity of the rants has an impact regardless, especially if the rants are being delivered by someone I respect and whose opinion I value. And modern social media makes it so, so easy to deliver those rants to a wide audience with the click of a mouse...
I rant myself. Frequently. But perhaps I now have a New Year's resolution: no more ranting. If I cannot take the time to gather my thoughts, corral my feelings, and construct a written or verbal expression of my opinion that is more substance than sting, then perhaps it's best not to express those thoughts at all, at least not publicly.
The emotion that drives rants is frustration, with anger bubbling not far beneath. What else drives rants? Lower-level consciousness: that is, the ego and arrogance/pride and an unrelenting hunger to be seen as "right" in the eyes of others.
I guess I could see these rants as a call for love and understanding, for that's most certainly what they are. I've found I really don't have the energy or need to rant when I open myself up and let go of the petty thoughts and smallness eating me that feels so HUGE in the moment. And when I can see the rants of others for what they are, it's hard not to feel pity for the messenger.
Rants don't HELP, nor do they serve ANYONE but the ranter. We sometimes arrogantly suppose or assume our rants should help, and we make all sorts of magnanimous statements about how "we only want to serve," but when statements like these are delivered within the context of a rant, they ring hollow. A rant is akin to turning a firehose on someone who is just thirsty; not only is the target not on fire, firehoses aren't meant to be used on people! A rant is ineffective, painful, and emotionally violent for those who are its target. It doesn't help, it doesn't soothe, it doesn't educate, and it most certainly won't facilitate any sort of healing, only disregard at best or defensiveness, even guilt, at worst. Ultimately, the rant has nothing to do with a desire to help the target and everything to do with helping the ranter release pent up emotion.
So, yes, a rant does have a purpose. It's a great way to vent your emotions. It's a super way to expel/release what you've absorbed from those around you and from your environment. But the thing is, a rant SHOULD NOT have an audience. Yes, a rant can and usually does have a target, but, again, should never have an audience! Ranting is like going to the bathroom; it's something that should be done in private, behind closed doors, with the results being flushed away, out of sight and out of mind, where the stink will no longer bother anyone.
So I'm going to continue to rant, I guess. I suppose my New Year's resolution, therefore, needs to change a bit: I'll continue ranting, but privately. I'll keep those rants to myself or express them in writing and then delete them, getting rid of them forever and neutralizing any potential harm they could cause. Or if I do decide I need to speak out publicly about something, I'll spend a little time composing and editing to ensure what I put out there is intelligent, reasonable, and less hurtful than a stream of consciousness spewing forth of negative emotions tends to be.
Those of us professing a desire to serve and help really can benefit from opening our eyes and seeing our rants through the eyes of their targets.
